Anniversaries. Some anniversaries are great! Like my wedding anniversary. I want to remember that and celebrate it! It’s a good thing! But most anniversaries, if I’m being honest, are not this way.

It’s not entirely that you don’t want to remember. Of course you do, otherwise They would be forgotten and the idea of Them being forgotten is horrendous. It’s that you don’t want to face THAT day again.

The day They left. The day They were taken from you. The day that They were no longer a part of the same world as you.

And you can see these anniversaries coming.

It’s like an enormous wave. 

You see it heading in and you know it will overtake you. And part of you just wants to run, even though you know it’s pointless. You’re certain that when it reaches you, you will drown. And you DO run.

But as the wave moves closer, you notice the different hues. You see the other colors within it. You realize that while such an intense wave will primarily cover you with darkness, there will be other shades surrounding you, as well. The good memories. The very real moments. The everyday life scenes or the emotions you encountered with Them. You know that the dark will be scary. You know that the power of this wave will hurt. But you know that another part of the story is in there. So you stop running. You stand on the shore and wait—perfectly still.

You take a deep breath.

And it crashes over you.

Eventually, the wave recedes back into the ocean. One large part of the even larger body of water. Beadlets cover your skin and hair, and the sun shines down on you.

You take another deep breath.

You made it through the wave, you can still see the water, and there… is the sun.

You walk along the shoreline, continuing life, Their tide by your side until the next wave. And while it can sound exhausting, there is also something sweet and hopeful in knowing that They will be there to wash over you again, and maybe next time, with a little more light than darkness.

And so you listen to that ocean ebb and flow…

Until it becomes the rhythm of your life.

For Those we love,

Dannika