Welcome to 2020, everyone! Wow, it’s crazy to think that we’re in a whole new decade! I don’t know about you, but I feel like that last decade was quite the adventure. It had ups, it had downs, and it had a lot of in-betweens. Sounds like a good story! However, I’m not really here to tell you all about my last decade. I’m here to talk a bit about the last year, what I read, and what life looks like right now! And a bit of the future, too, because that’s fun.
Let’s just start with this right away: if you’re only here for the book list, I totally get it and feel free to scroll down until you see the photo of a book and the subtitle What I Read In 2019. I won’t be offended, I promise. At least not a lot.
For everyone who wants the life update, I’m going to try to keep this fairly brief, which means there won’t be a TON of detail, so you’ll have to keep checking in here and on my social media to keep up with the news! You can find me on Instagram at @instabydannika. And by brief I mean… it’s me. So you still have some reading to do.
This last year was crazy. I know people say that, but I really mean it. Let’s see… January began with dreams and goals, like most people. I had a goal to read 50 books (same goal each year. *spoiler alert: didn’t reach it), and to have my best year yet, among other goals. Well… turns out 2019 was a bit of a mixed bag for that best year goal! February saw good times mostly, but some things started to look a bit dim in a particular area. I loved the work I was doing at my job, but I started to have some issues with the place I was working. I was hoping I could press on and see things look up, and so I continued to enjoy my job. March was pretty good! Lots of writing and rainy days. April kicked my ass.
April came with my good friend at work leaving his job and basically all hell breaking loose (through no fault of his own. Some people just can’t handle change, which is my nice way of putting it for now). April came with beautiful announcements of good news from dear grieving friends. April came with the death of my son Oliver, and my delivery of him at home in our bathtub. April then came with forgetting how to breathe or think or dream or feel. April had no more writing, no more reading, and no more good left in it. My year really took a turn here.
May is when we told the rest of the world about Oliver. May is when I asked for help, because my body wasn’t healing properly and I was both physically and emotionally exhausted and in pain. May is when a few friends reached out and no one else. May is when I knew it was time to leave the toxic place I was working. May is when I turned 29 and wished I was dead. June is when Josh and I celebrated being married for 7 years! SEVEN!!!! July is when I walked out of the place I worked, hoping to never return, and walked into one of the best jobs ever! The rest of the year can sort of just be summed up in a few things: I started painting a LOT, I started writing new things, I GOT A NEPHEW who is the cutest kid ever and his name is Asa and he’s cooler than everyone. I started working on my photography harder than ever, I traveled multiple times including a super fun girls trip with my mom, and I started finally allowing myself to seek answers to questions I’d had all along and accept myself for who I am.
You see, through all of the pain and the suffering and the anger and everything else that came in 2019, I also found freedom.
Kind of a weird thing, but it’s true. I allowed myself to feel that pain, and I allowed myself to heal. I allowed some of it to keep hurting to this day, and I allowed myself to no longer give two shits what some people thought of me.
Best. Decision. Ever.
I began sharing a lot of my journey towards authenticity on social media, and many of you have joined me there! I have apprehensively shared a new love of art, my journey to health, and discussions on mental health. I had so many good times at concerts and bookshops and malls and home! And ohhhhh there’s more to come!
2020 has a lot of potential! I’m working on several projects that I’ll fill you in on later, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways by not only vowing to send at LEAST one book out to publishers this year, but also by opening my very own Etsy shop! It’s not live yet, but the second it is you’ll be sure to know! I began offering tarot readings toward the end of 2019 and that is continuing into 2020. I am also now offering photography! Most of this will be accessible for purchase or booking through my Etsy shop. My beliefs drastically changed this past year, and I am so incredibly happy about that. 2020 will see me taking a deep breath and choosing courage — courage to share more of myself with you. I’ll share more belief, more identity, more discussion on mental health, etc. And I know a lot of you are wondering about my old job. Many of you know I worked for a church. I don’t feel that I’m in a place right now that would make it very fair of me to say more than I have. If I feel at any point that I can talk about it accurately and without bitterness, I will. I still love SO MANY people there, and I hope the best for the whole place. That’s all I can say for now.
As for Josh and I, we plan on making 2020 pretty damn awesome. He has a book coming out NEXT MONTH through Quoir, called Shame: An Unconventional Memoir. It’s such a great book you guys, you HAVE TO BUY IT AND READ IT!!! We have a LOT of travel planned, which is super awesome (although we always worry about our poor kitties when we go away). We are both continuing to try to find the best way to do the work we love. This year, we will celebrate EIGHT YEARS OF MARRIAGE!!! Hell yeah! As for kids, we honestly don’t know. We’ve had so many different discussions, and I’ll be honest and say that for the first time ever we have also started looking into some options that we weren’t ready for before. It’s a big ole question mark. Some days I’m ok with that! Josh is a co-host on an awesome podcast called The Harbor, and this year he’ll be the co-host of ANOTHER podcast with pretty much the coolest co-host ever! Me. It’s me. That’s right! We are finally going to be releasing Free The Artist! I’ll let you know when it’s live!
Ok, ok. I get it. Get to the book list already! Fine. lol As I said before, I didn’t meet my goal of 50 books, but I’m re-establishing that goal for this year! I know I can do it, I just have to find my best method. These books aren’t necessarily listed in order, so keep that in mind! I hope this list inspires you to find some new good reads! I can’t wait to hear all about it!
*A quick note about this list: You may see a title or two that makes you uncomfortable. That’s totally fine! If you really need to, you can ask me about it. Or you can just move on to the next title and it will all be okay!
WHAT I READ IN 2019:
Title Author Page Ct.
- New Moon Stephenie Meyer 563
- Eclipse Stephenie Meyer 629
- Breaking Dawn Stephenie Meyer 756
- Homebody Joanna Gaines 352
- The Pawn Steven James 427
- The Rook Steven James 489
- The Mermaid’s Voice Returns In This One Amanda Lovelace 195
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. J.K. Rowling. 607
- Ender’s Game Orson Scott Card 324
- Your Healthiest Healthy Samantha Harris 240
- Ender’s Shadow Orson Scott Card 480
- A Darker Shade of Magic V.E. Schwab 400
- Rumple Buttercup Matthew Gray Gubler 136
- A Gathering of Shadows V.E. Schwab 509
- A Conjuring of Light V.E. Schwab 637
- Edgedancer Brandon Sanderson. 99
- Wicca Harmony Nice 229
- The Path Between Us Suzanne Stabile 240
- M is for Magic Neil Gaiman 272
- Hashtag Authentic Sara Tasker 192
- Oathbringer Brandon Sanderson 1233
- The Graveyard Book (Special Edition) Neil Gaiman 330
- Neverwhere Neil Gaiman 480
- The Near Witch V.E. Schwab 320
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows J.K. Rowling 607
- Little Witch Anna Elizabeth Bennett 116
- Skyward Brandon Sanderson 528
- This Michael Gungor 208
- The Wild Unknown Tarot Guidebook Kim Krans 207
- Starsight Brandon Sanderson 207
- Little Women Louisa May Alcott 509
- Lexicon Max Barry 390
- The Truth Is A Cave In the Black Mountains Neil Gaiman 73
- The Linestrider’s Journey Siolo Thompson 274
- Coraline Neil Gaiman 163
- Less Rachel Aust 144
- Toil & Trouble 336
Augusten Burroughs
There’s a chance I missed a book or two, but I don’t think so! I started many more, but they’re still in progress. I hope this list provides some good inspiration for you! Happy reading, and Happy New Year!
Love,
Dannika
Feature Photo: Luis Tosta via Unsplash
Middle Photo: Gabriele Diwald via Unsplash
Dannika Lauren 
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